We all want our lives to grow and increase, but we often forget that growth can be uncomfortable; it stretches us beyond our present capacity and puts our faith to the test.
We can easily forget that everything has a beginning – and it is in these beginnings that our capacity as individuals and as a team are stretched and grown – and stretched and grown! Sometimes people want the end result without the glorious processes that come with the territory. So many lessons are learned along the way – the highs and lows, the corridor conversations, and crazy moments are what make it so powerful, exciting, and memorable.
Today, as you feel a tug of God’s calling, I encourage you to allow the stretch as you step out on your journey toward the exciting things He has waiting for you. It is my heartfelt prayer that as you do, you will water a genuine desire to unite in friendship and cause alongside the people in your world to bring hope where hope has been lost.
Most people usually pay money to jump onto a plane, and then there’s some people who pay to jump out of a moving one. I am some people! I have always been adventurous, drawn to the crazy mysteries of the world , fascinated by strange happenings, climbing mountains, losing myself in the wild, trying new things, places and foods, bungee jumping, absailing among other adventures that keep calling my name every once in a while.
Sky diving /parachuting is a method of transiting from a high point in an atmosphere to the ground or ocean surface with the aid of gravity, involving the control of speed during the descent using a parachute. It is usually done for fun , i did it both for fun and to overcome my fear of losing control. Crazy right!
If you are a first born and grew up in a household where everything is constantly unpredicatble, you probably identify with this “being in control” syndrome, if you dont, I will share that story another time. For years, the fear of losing control has been a formidable force in my life. Whether it is the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, or the fear of letting go, it has tethered me to the familiar and the predictable. Skydiving, a seemingly reckless endeavor to some, was my chosen path to confront and conquer this fear, to unshackle myself from the chains of doubt and hesitation. And this year with so much curiosity, determination and without hesitation, i jumped out of a moving plane at 30,000ft
The sun hung low in the horizon, casting a warm glow over the landscape as I stood on the edge of the open airplane door, my heart pounding in rhythm with the propeller’s roar. The wind, a force of nature in itself, tugged at my senses, whispering promises of liberation and exhilaration. I was about to embark on a journey that would redefine my relationship with fear, control, and the boundless expanses of the sky. As excited asbi was, i almost wet my big girl panties as my guide Fred started counting down to the jump.
The journey.
I have always wanted to skydive, infact i had planned to do it with my very dear friend sometime but the universe refused to allign. This year i decided i was not going to voice my plans lest the universe refuses again. In celebration of my birthday, i contacted skydive dubai online, paid and booked a slot. I convinced myself that if i paid, then there would be no backing out because who wants to lose money because of fear? Did some reading about what to wear, the dos and donts , and i was ready. Took an uber to the rendezvous point, was checked in, signed a disclaimer form, was introduced to my would be guide , photographer and got strapped. We then had a short video debrief and started the long mile walk to the car that would take us to the plane.
At this point all the nerves you can think about are shooting uncontrollably out of my body. My neighbors are panicking, you can smell fear on all our bodies, and our guides are trying to keep us calm. We were five , plus five guides and three photographers to capture the moments. We entered the aircraft and were asked to sit with our guides, Fred( my guide) who was strapped to me told me to trust him and to not resist the air carrying me. Not sure i understood what that meant because in the next few seconds the red light went on, my photographer shouted smile and off the plane we jumped .
Listen!! Death must feel like that because why was i doing this to myself ? Why had i paid my hard earned money to subject myself to such a near death experience. What kind of bad decisions was I into ? The fear!! everything was shaking , i could hear my heart beat from my mouth. But did I die???
As we descended from the aircraft, suspended between the heavens and the Earth, a paradoxical sense of calm suddenly washed over me. It was a moment where time seemed to stretch and contract simultaneously, and the world below transformed into a mesmerizing tapestry of colors and contours. The fear that once gripped me began to dissipate, replaced by a profound awareness of the beauty that lay beyond the confines of my comfort zone. Oh how beautiful it is to kiss the sky. Its orgasmic.
In the realm of free fall, control took on a new meaning. It was not about gripping tightly to the reins of certainty, but rather about surrendering to the natural forces that guided my descent. The wind became my guide, and as I spread my arms wide, I felt a unity with the elements, an exquisite dance with the unseen currents of the sky. I was having so much fun, ofcourse the photographer was enjoying capturing every second of it all. Far from being a loss of control, it was a revelation—a realization that sometimes, in letting go, we gain the most.
Fred allowed me to hold and direct the parachute reins, and as we gently spun around, the world seemed to be still, nothing else mattered in that moment, only the beauty i was beholding. We then started preparing for landing, and soon, we hit the ground on our feet.
The ground, initially a distant abstraction, gradually rose to meet me as the parachute deployed, slowing our descent. As I floated gently back to Earth, a newfound sense of empowerment filled my being. The fears that once confined me were now left far above, replaced by an overwhelming sense of liberation. I had faced the abyss and emerged not only unscathed but transformed.
The experience wasn’t just about conquering the fear of falling; it was about shedding the fear of losing control. It taught me that control is not an absolute, rigid concept but a fluid, adaptable force that can be harnessed in unexpected ways. True control lies in understanding when to hold on and when to let go, in recognizing that sometimes the most profound moments occur when we relinquish the illusion of control.
As I touched down on solid ground, the earth beneath my feet felt more tangible, more real. The fear that once held me captive had been replaced by a newfound courage, a courage born from the realization that embracing the unknown is not a relinquishment of control, but rather a celebration of the vast possibilities that lie beyond our self-imposed limits.
Skydiving became more than just an adrenaline-fueled adventure for me; it was a metaphor for life itself. In the grand theater of existence, we are all skydivers, free-falling through time and space, navigating the currents of uncertainty. It’s in those moments of surrender, of trusting the winds of fate, that we discover the true essence of control—the art of letting go and allowing life to unfold in all its magnificent unpredictability.
Lost in deep pain, unaware of the sorroundings, I stared blankly in space, my mind trying to figure out a million things ……
Madam, “we can cremate her and store the ashes in a bottle for you to keep or you can pay your last respects and we shall burry her “ …..,……silence ..,……..madam are you hearing me ?
Yes, I responded faintly, yes I heard you. I just can’t process how this is the decision I have to make this Morning. Please give me a minute to think on this and I will get back to you.
Sky was born on 28th June 2019, and I loved her from the moment I set my eyes on her. I received her, shy , very clingy, deeply protective and emotionally alert . We would sit at the entrance to my house for hours, saying nothing yet understanding that silence carried so much more than we both dared to articulate. As she grew fonder and older her vet advised that we needed a Ovariohysterectomy, afterall we were not allowing other pets in our space yet, our bond had to first grow stronger.
The surgery was tough, we spent days and nights whining and restless, cuddled some, played some, sulked much, but we healed well. I was there when she needed me. Then I phased through my own share of loss, pain , trouble and all the while, Sky never left my door step. She knew when I was happy and she charged at me to play, she also understood when I wasn’t, and we just sat quietly.
How could I be making a decision to let her go for good? How is she dead? How could I not have been present as she crossed rainbow bridge? Did she suffer? Did she cry for me? Was she afraid, could I have made the transition easier? I guess I will never know.
I travelled last week and the vet called to say she was suffering from seperation anxiety and was refusing to eat. When I got home three days ago, we spent time together, we were able to take some milk and all was better. She was playing and eating and i was glad to home. She usually put out her paws to greet and no matter how much you jam, she would insist.
Hosted a meeting at home late last night and when all the guests had gone, the caretaker came and said , “madam, sky is not waking up.”
I run to the dog house, she had slept, for good. A knot in my stomach, a paralysis I can’t explain. Simba and Shalom (my other pets ) joined this darkness that had just descended upon us. We said a short prayer, called the vet and released Sky.
We have just burried Sky and I am numb, not from lost love , from the terrible pit of pain that sits in my stomach whose intensity I dare not explain. My Sky, You guarded, you comforted , you protected, you loved me. My heart will break for you everyday, thank you for walking a good journey with me. Rest easy.
Home is not the same without you. We will miss you .
Words cannot express the depth of pride I feel on this beautiful day. My ka heart is so full and my love for you is never ending. How are you six years already? How have you blossomed into this beautiful soulful space in so short a time? The past five years have been incredible, its such an honor to serve and steward you.
Throughout every stage of your development, I have learned and unlearned a ton of things, you have humbled me. I remember the first time I held you in my dreams like it was happening today, the fear of such a big dream, the anxiety of whether it will ever be, the naïve curiosity, the unrivalled excitement, all the mixed emotions, the pain and joy of birthing is in-printed on my heart.
I have watched you dare to be different in a world that seeks to conform. You have pushed me beyond the bourne of my understanding, borne fruit both in and out season, colored your own world and stuck to your gut and for that I am proud. You have been resilient and endured much, you have grown weary and even fainted on some days and yet your strength has been renewed every time and you continue to stand strong. you have withstood the rains, the winds blowing from every direction, you have wept in the night and sang for joy every morning, I admire your brevity, I am inspired by your courage.
I must admit I am not sure how to raise a six-year old, in fact I am scared to watch you grow this big, but if there is one thing you have taught me, it is that there is so much fun in learning on the job as I parent you. Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes, for letting me find several circles of sisterhood support as we raise you to be what we envisioned. Thank you for drawing people to you, for standing out, for letting me fail forward.
As you turn a new page on your journey of growth, my prayer is that you;
1. Will remain teachable, always,
2. Will never lose your sense of wonder,
3. Will keep the door open for so many that come after you,
4. Will honor those that have come before you,
5. Will never sell yourself short, stay the course,
6. Will not give up no matter what.
I want to honor and thank in a very special way everyone that has invested in your growth thus far. Those that have dedicated time, treasure and Talent to make sure you thrive, those that have mentioned your name in spaces you are not, those that whisper your name to God., and everyone who believes in you. We are where we are today because of our people, our purpose , our values and our commitment to loving women in every way that exists to love
We are all aware there is no escape from death………so how do we manage ? How do we Deal with this crushing knowledge that one day somehow, we shall not be able to escape death ?
We disguise , we repress , we die everyday in every way and still pretend to be living. We hold onto the hope of an afterlife or not, we simply die daily, and we are blind to it.
How are we dying daily and intentionally without even knowing we are dying ? Feeding our minds with poison , punishing our bodies , consuming our lives with hate and impure thoughts ……
Numbing functionality, escaping living , avoiding – fear- pain – purpose – power – who started it? Why would they lead us down this path ?
It is our duty in the works to believe in the things others don’t believe – the moment we stop – we begin to die
Love is one of the most unbelievable elements. It’s so beautiful yet so damning. So fragile yet so fierce . Refining and consuming , confusing yet enduring. If only we allowed love to love us….. if only we let ourselves go , just for a moment and then suddenly never return , as in death
Love can be scary, life can be scary, but what if it’s not all as scary as letting go ? As allowing yourself to live freely?
What if our days could be aimless , what if time could stop , what if the seasons didn’t have to change , what if there was truly no plan?
What if you could kill death? What if violence is a form of rebirth. Just what if we understood that we are the future dead? What if love wasn’t just a thing we aspire to do but rather be ?
Just what if ?
“May the days be aimless , let the seasons drift – do not advance the action according to the plan “
May you simply allow to die now that you may live. We are all the future dead today.
Where does time go? How is it possible that one can blink and time is gone ? I remember yesterday so vividly, excited young people , no office space, no money , dreams so heavy they could have broken our backs, or maybe they did …….and so much energy and determination to change the world. How is it five years already? How did you grow up so fast ? I have enjoyed watching you evolve into this beautiful soulful space. You have become a little more comfortable with independence, not needing so much baby sitting and oh, how you enjoy the company of the bigger sisterhood. I have watched you test and push boundaries, do so many things your way even when you were frowned upon, i have watched you dare.
As you grow older, i still believe that a small group of people acting locally and using creative approaches can make a huge difference. I still admire your commitment to serving women and helping them foster effective resilience to break barriers and reach new heights for themselves. I look forward to a time society will afford equal opportunities to both men and women but until then, i am proud of the gospel of feminist theories and principles you continue to preach
You have grown in patience and learned to manage other emotions that constantly creep up on you. The tantrums have slowly faded away and you have gained better comprehension of the world around you. I have watched you fall and fail, some falls more brutal than others , some failures i was afraid you wouldn’t recover from but oh, how proud i am of you today!
Five big years of courage, of strong will, of curiosity, of outgoingness! I have watched you do things very afraid but still trusting that the universe would hold you and ground you in good measure. My heart could explode right now from the emotions and feelings i am catching as i pen this down, so i will go ahead and say it before i ruin everything with tears and waterworks.
Happy fifth birthday my beautiful. As you transition into this new year, I speak five things over you.
1. Trust – one of my favorite scriptures is Habakkuk 2:2-3 “ write down the vision, for it awaits an appointed time, and if it seems like it is delaying, wait for it, for the vision doesn’t lie” i have totally paraphrased it but in all you do, trust the process. It may seem impossible, it may be painful sometimes, learn to trust!
2. Consistency – Build everyday, add a brick , be patient , be true to your call – consistency is a reward for
3. Hunger – whatever you do, remain hungry, whatever you lose , don’t lose your curiosity. Keep finding avenues to grow and to learn, invest in those avenues.
4. Know your craft – be a master of your craft, grow, learn and spread the gospel according to feminism from a place of knowledge, understanding and experience, and when you think you have mastered all, find ways of repacking what you know and rebuild.
5. Empathy and responsibility- you have been called to serve, when you fail, take responsibility for your actions, when you are winning, lead with compassion and empathy
Our future is bright because of our people, our purpose, our values, and our commitment to feminist Praxis. Thank you to our people, the ones who have stayed to clean up even when the party is over , the ones who have been in the trenches with us, shouting our name in spaces we couldn’t access, we are because you care. And now i must really stop before i get ahead of myself, knowing full well you have to go and celebrate this day , this milestone, this new year as you deserve to.
I love you. I am honored to carry you and steward you.
I have been found guilty of running my mouth on issues i didnt fully understand, most especially around people with chronic illnesses . Sometimes you catch yourself saying things you shouldn’t , being insensitive , and or even harming people with words that can’t be taken back. Somewhere in the good book it is said that ‘even a fool is thought wise when they stay quiet”, i beg , if you have no kind words – shut it your mouth!
This week i met an amazing lady, Ms Grace – she is a nurse and founded the Endometriosis foundation in uganda to create awareness about the illness, to advocate for best health care services, to support and find help for women in early stages of their diagnosis of endometriosis.
Did you know that one in every 10 women of reproductive age have endometriosis ( a chronic condition where the inner linning of the uterus grows in other places outside the uterus) often leading to infertility? Endometriosis depends on the female hormone estrogen and is therefore rare after menopause and or before puberty. It has four stages and often grows in the fallopian tubes , ovaries , vagina, bladder, intestines, making it difficult for most women with the condition to become pregnant because of the damage to the sites it occupies.
Did you also know that sever period pains are not normal, that painful sex and irregular periods could be a sign, that pelvic pain , ovulation pain, lower back pain among other symptoms we experience during that time of the month but have chosen to normalize, are absolutely not okay? Grace’s story not only opened my eyes , it also gave me the hope that we can all work together to create awareness about this condition and together find some solutions to avert it.
Some of the ways we can do this together is encouraging ourselves to lead healthy lives , excercise regulary, maintain a healthy diet , get enough rest, if already diagnosed , try pelvic massages, reduce alcohol and Caffeine intake, ans above all BE KIND!
Grace and all the advocates for better health care provision on this matter need both you and i to join the fight and create awareness about the condition. There is never enough noise about a matter as critical as this . And the next time you thing to say an unkind word to someone whose condition you understand not, ……think again!
Life is already punching us from every corner, choose to spread grace and kindness !
#WinterABC2022 #StoriesOfAwareness – Story by Mariam Satya Cherotich
Feminism as a whole is a very sensitive topic, especially to women as we are the biggest and main advocates of the movement. It’s also a very unpopular topic to many, especially men, for many different reasons. First of all let us define feminism. It’s basically the choice of women, by women, for women. Feminism is also an advocacy for equal rights for the female gender in all aspects i.e socially, politically, economically among others. Now you’d think that a basic fight for social justice and common decency would be strongly supported world wide by majority, if not all, people; but no. In fact one of the most unpopular opinions of all time is usually anything connected to this widespread movement for women to have equal rights, justice and liberty just like the male gender have been enjoying these privileges for as long as time immemorial.
So for a big part of my life I’ve been hearing different opinions on feminism from my fellow Africans. The ones that don’t support it usually justify their dislike for it by claiming that feminism was introduced or “brought” to Africa by “Bazungu”, the Europeans. Somehow this is supposed to show their pan Africanism by showing how connected they are to their forefathers “roots” of oppression of women all the while justifying their hatred for the fight of women’s rights. I personally laugh at such, need I say, primitive opinions. To add salt to the wound, they follow up such claims with statements like “women belong in the kitchen” and “this is a man’s world” among so many others that are really infuriating by the way. Mind you, they do have a point, because so many societies in Africa and across the world practiced these oppressive beliefs as a way of “keeping women in check” but that doesn’t cancel out the fact that there existed martriarchal societies in Africa at the time too. Lest I forget to mention that these people make these claims so they can justify domestic violence, sexual harrasment towards women and general sexism that’s highly problematic to the female gender.
I for one love a good argument, especially if it’s filled with facts. So personally I avoid arguing with people that haven’t done their research on particular topics such as Feminism in Africa. For starters, let’s first get the facts straight. Feminism actually wasn’t introduced for the first time to Africa to many societies as some of them already practised what we now call Feminism. To them, it was just a way of life to treat women as equals. Multiple societies especially in West Africa had women as the body guards of kings and others had women being the general commamders of whole armies. A good and prominent example of this is the Dahomey Amazons who were natively referred to as Mino(our Mothers in Fon). The Dahomey Amazons were an all-female military army of the Kingdom of Dahomey which is now known as the Republic of Benin. In the midst of the horror of the transatlantic slave trade and in times of battle against the French colonisers the Dahomey warriors “were the last line of defense between the enemy and the King and were prepared to sacrifice their lives to protect him” writes Sylvia Serbian. The popular recent Pan-African film Black Panther actually portrayed The Dahomey female militia by casting a whole army of fierce African women famously called the Dora Milaje and that was Hollywood’s way of bringing Precolonial Africa into modernity. Another famous African warrior Queen was Yaa Asantewaa, a Ghanian who was born into the Ashanti Kingdom and is famous for leading the Ashanti Rebellion against the British to defend the Golden stool. The Ashanti chiefs were afraid to wage war against the British colonisers but Yaa Asantewaa led an army of approximately 4000 men against British exploitation after inspiring them with a speech as she was not about to accept defeat without putting up a fight. Yaa Asantewaa strongly promoted gender equality as well as women emancipation using her clout as a Queen mother of Ejisu while Prempeh 1 the Asantehene(king) was in exile and she among other women in precolonial Africa strongly contributed and controlled the politics of their African societies. Such shows the dual-sex political system of quite a number of precolonial African societies where women did not come under the authority of men in day to day affairs of their governments and social lives and men and women controlled political institutions jointly. John Henrik Clarke puts it best in his essay on African Warrior Queens in Black Women of Antiquity when he says “Africans had produced a way of life where men were secure enough to let women advance as far as their talents would take them.” in precolonial Africa.
Then came the White man. Europeans and other Whites around the world back in the day also heavily oppressed women hence the movements such as the suffragette movement among other feminist moves in the 20th and 19th century. The White man that so many Africans perceive to be better than us of darker skin also practiced primitive oppression of women. In a text entitled The Cultural Unity of Black Africa: The Domains of Martriarchy and of Partriarchy in Classical Antiquity, Diop disputed the Western definitions of martriarchy which strengthen the proof of existence of sexism and gender based oppression of women in Europe. Diop mentioned two world geographical zones: the north and south and he went ahead to state his theory that martriarchy originated in the agricultural south which is Africa and partriarchy originated in the north which consisted of nomadic societies of Indo-European culture. Diop argued against Bachofen and Morgan who described their European notions of family structure through praising patriarchy and disputing the concept of matriarchy by claiming that matriarchal and matrilineal ways of life were practiced by “barbarian peoples” who had primitive “promiscuous intercourse” while patriarchy and monogamy were practiced by civilized people, in this case the Romans and the Greeks. Bachofen actually had the same point of view emphasizing that matriarchal systems had to do with “barbarism” and “sexual promiscuity” and were based on the supremacy of women. The difference between precolonial Africa and ancient Europe must be very clear by now; in Africa, women had unlimited authority in social, political and economic concepts of society whereas in Indo-Europe, women had no power whatsoever and were also outrightly denied an authoritative role in society, as Diop states “a husband or father had the right of life and death over a woman”. When foreigners, Arabs and Europeans, came to Africa they brought along patriarchy and misogyny to these societies that viewed and respected women as equals and figures of power. So there we have it, first and primary fact of the day, feminism was not new to some African societies after the arrival of the Europeans among other foreigners to the “The Dark Continent”.
There are so many ways ancient African gender sensitive and matriarchal laws and institutions can make the world in general a much better place to exist in for every single one of us. Precolonial African societies deified mothers and considered motherhood to be sacred to the point of African religions symbolizing the power of motherhood through African spiritual powers. In so doing African societies were advocating for women’s rights. Currently in my Africa, problematic issues such as rape, female genital mutilation and domestic violence among other sexist tendencies continue to exist because of traditional male dominace that is predominant in countless societies in Africa, yet if we revive the immense reverence for women some of our African forefathers and foremothers practiced, the progress we would achieve as humanity would have no end.
Miss Albinism Zimbabwe Trust: “A reflective piece on the daily lived experiences of persons with Albinism”
So many people with Albinism face multiple forms of discrimimation world wide . From erroneous beliefs and myths influenced by superstitions that foster maginalisation and social exclusion. Albinism is heavily misunderstood both socially and medically.
Albinism is a rare , non contagious , genetically inherited difference at birth. Everyone with this condition has a name , they can not continue to be defined by a condition that can be found in both sexes irrespective of ethnicity, across the world .
You and i can both do something about the stigma. Choose today to care , stop and notice, to see with the lens of love.
This little angel is a beautiful reminder to stop the sigma!
#WinterABC2022: Stories of Africa – first African literature
I love books , i love how they carry you to places , make you feel emotions , broaden your imagination in ways only book lovers can understand .
I do not remember the first book but my most memorable in my earlier days of reading was wole Soyinka’s Trials of brother Jero. This play is still relevant to our times and I still catch myself laughing through every page flip. What a good read !
The main themes in the book include romantic betrayal; religious hypocrisy; the skepticism over the use of religion. Much of the satire and irony in The Trials of Brother Jero comes from the contrast between a self-proclaimed “man of god” and the ordinary community life he finds himself within.
Soyinka captured worldwide issues by using a West African setting. The satirical message in the text is conveyed through ridiculing of the vice and follies of the contemporary Nigeria society via religious institution. His fictive
output belongs to the horatian mode of satire which ridicules the follies with the intention of correcting society.
Through symbolism, comedy and irony, the aberrant and corrupt nature of our religious leaders are exposed. Moral decadence, prevalent in the society is also dealt with. The text centres around a bar beach prophet Jero who pretends to be a true prophet but in the actual sense, he is à cheat, a rogue,
and in fact the devil’s incarnate. As the play unfolds Soyinka presents prophet jero as a representative of hypocritical religious and political leader. He presents him in a humorous and comical way that we see through the front
of the holy hermit which he put on for the benefit of his deluded worshippers. The wrong mentality or orientation of some so called prophet is brought to the force prophet hood ought to be a call to selfless and sacrificial living towards God and mankind.
However, prophets like jero don’t have this mentality. To Jero it’s a business, a profit making venture, the easiest way to meet ones material needs, in one word a trade just as he call it. If you took a minute to shine a light on todays prophets and religious leaders, they are everything foretold in this beautiful book and more.
PenelopeSanyu 