Rest Easy Sky!

“Should we cremate or burry her ?” He asked

Lost in deep pain, unaware of the sorroundings, I stared blankly in space, my mind trying to figure out a million things ……

Madam, “we can cremate her and store the ashes in a bottle for you to keep or you can pay your last respects and we shall burry her “ …..,……silence ..,……..madam are you hearing me ?

Yes, I responded faintly, yes I heard you. I just can’t process how this is the decision I have to make this Morning. Please give me a minute to think on this and I will get back to you.

Sky was born on 28th June 2019, and I loved her from the moment I set my eyes on her. I received her, shy , very clingy, deeply protective and emotionally alert . We would sit at the entrance to my house for hours, saying nothing yet understanding that silence carried so much more than we both dared to articulate. As she grew fonder and older her vet advised that we needed a Ovariohysterectomy, afterall we were not allowing other pets in our space yet, our bond had to first grow stronger.

The surgery was tough, we spent days and nights whining and restless, cuddled some, played some, sulked much, but we healed well. I was there when she needed me. Then I phased through my own share of loss, pain , trouble and all the while, Sky never left my door step. She knew when I was happy and she charged at me to play, she also understood when I wasn’t, and we just sat quietly.

How could I be making a decision to let her go for good? How is she dead? How could I not have been present as she crossed rainbow bridge? Did she suffer? Did she cry for me? Was she afraid, could I have made the transition easier? I guess I will never know.

I travelled last week and the vet called to say she was suffering from seperation anxiety and was refusing to eat. When I got home three days ago, we spent time together, we were able to take some milk and all was better. She was playing and eating and i was glad to home. She usually put out her paws to greet and no matter how much you jam, she would insist.

Hosted a meeting at home late last night and when all the guests had gone, the caretaker came and said , “madam, sky is not waking up.”

I run to the dog house, she had slept, for good. A knot in my stomach, a paralysis I can’t explain. Simba and Shalom (my other pets ) joined this darkness that had just descended upon us. We said a short prayer, called the vet and released Sky.

We have just burried Sky and I am numb, not from lost love , from the terrible pit of pain that sits in my stomach whose intensity I dare not explain. My Sky, You guarded, you comforted , you protected, you loved me. My heart will break for you everyday, thank you for walking a good journey with me. Rest easy.

Home is not the same without you. We will miss you .